Brotherly Love
by hfcmfan2013
Summary: Inspired by the latest episode. A moment where Morgan shows Reid that he isn't alone anymore, and that he will always have him at his side. Minor spoilers from the latest episode.


**So did anyone else see Morgan hang back by where Reid sat down at the end of the last episode? That's where the inspiration came from for this story. Slight spoilers for the latest episode, but nothing major. Just friendship between Morgan and Reid in this story.**

-CM-

Though the sun was shinning as they boarded the jet, fatigue was close to overpowering him. The case had ended well. The last victim was saved and she would live to see another day. But there were things that he couldn't get over, things he couldn't let go. He wished he could have; there was nothing he could do about it now, there was nothing he could change. There was only one thing he wouldn't change, and that was that it was only Lewis and him that had been at the barn and not anyone else from the team. Just being in that barn, though it was in a different state, brought back memories he had banned to the back of him mind for almost ten years now. He could only imagine what it would have done to the rest of them, minus Rossi, who wasn't with them at the time, to have been back in a similar environment.

Walking up the steps and finally getting inside, he spots Reid sitting down in a chair close to the coffee getting a book out of his bag. It had been a few weeks since Reid had been forced by Cat to speak about his visit with his mother, forced to share that his mother was in the early stages of Alzheimer's. After Reid and Morgan had embraced in the biggest hug the genius had ever allowed from anyone in front of Morgan's house, no one had spoken about what he revealed. Sure, everyone gave him hugs and words of encouragement the next day at work, but after that nobody asked him anything relating to it. They all knew that Reid was a private person and they recalled how defensive he got when Cat had pushed him back in the restaurant when he wouldn't answer her directly. Nobody wanted to be the one to make him speak about it if he didn't want to.

Though they weren't paired up much during this case, Morgan could tell Reid had his mind elsewhere at times. He still participated and helped out greatly, there was no doubt about it, but Morgan could just tell something was bugging the man he saw as his brother. With Lewis and JJ talking to each other farther down the jet and Rossi and Hotch taking seats close to the women, Morgan figured he would try to get Reid to talk.

He placed his hand on the seat closest to him, the one Reid was sitting in, to get the mans attention since he was engrossed in his book. When he saw Reid look up he moved closer to the chair and sat down, sighing dramatically. "That was some case," he simply said. He wants to start off slow, so as not to scare the genius off from talking.

It seems to work as Reid replies calmly, "Yeah, it definitely was. It had a good outcome though; she was saved." Not having anything else to say, he goes back to his book.

Without thinking before he said it, Morgan finds words spilling out of his mouth. "I'm glad you weren't there at the takedown."

Now that had Reid looking back up in a heartbeat. Placing his book down on his bag, he looks at Morgan and sees the haunted look in his eyes. "Why?" he asks as he buckles his seatbelt when the sound goes through the jet. He never takes his eyes off of Morgan, but Morgan loses eye contact with Reid. It's not until they're in the air that Morgan speaks again.

"It brought back some memories I never want to remember. It would have been worse for you, I think." Seeing the confusing on Reid's face, he continues. "The barn she was brought to was in the middle of nowhere. It was rundown and old, but well cared for. People had been killed in there before. Even with the door blocked he managed to get inside, and if we hadn't been there just then he would have walked away with her. Do you see where I'm going with this, kid?"

Silence fell between them for a few moments. Then, spoken so quietly he almost misses it, Reid speaks the name nobody had mentioned in years. "Tobias Hankle." The name still sends shivers down his spine and his left hand starts towards his right elbow, but he stops it.

Seeing Reid's reaction gets Morgan to speak again. "As soon as we pulled up and I saw the barn the memories flooded back. I don't think I'll ever forget that barn, searching through it and seeing what I saw. But I pushed them away, though, because I knew that none of my team was in danger this time. This time it was an innocent women who needed my help, not you or JJ." He had to stop for a moment for his throat felt like it was being constricted. He needed to get control of his emotions. This was only one thing he wanted to speak to Reid about.

Reid gives him the time he needs, feeling himself get emotional as well. Memories from his capture and torture were trying to wiggle themselves to the front of his mind, he could feel his veins singing for a hit, for a drug that he hadn't had in close to nine years. It was a feeling he wished upon no one, and one he wished he could forget. He's brought out of his misery when Morgan speaks again. There are tears in his eyes but none fall as he talks.

"If the memories hit me that hard I can only imagine what they would have done to you, or JJ, or even Hotch. With me just talking about it, it's effecting you; I can only imagine what would have happened if you were there with me. I'm not saying you're weak, Reid," he says when he sees him about to protest, "but look into my eyes and tell me you wouldn't have been effected."

Reid intends to do just that, to look Morgan in the eye and say he would have been fine if he had been the one at the barn instead of Lewis. But when he looks in Morgan's eyes, he loses his voice. It's as if someone came and ripped his vocal cords out of his throat and threw them away. Instead he shakes his head left to right and starts to close in on himself, moving his arms closer to his body as if he was going to give himself a hug. Before he can, though, a hand grabs his and squeezes tight. He keeps his eyes closed but he hears Morgan start to speak to him once more.

"Time may have passed by but you will always be effected by it. The memories will never go away; mine haven't after all this time in dealing with Carl. It will forever be apart of you. You do become stronger because of them. Look at yourself, Reid; you pulled yourself out of doing drugs, and are so on the straight path you don't take anything stronger than Aleve when you're in pain. That's strength. Yet even with all the strength we have sometimes those dreaded memories sneak back up on us. They can overpower you with the right circumstances. With everything you've been through the past few months, I don't want anything else to bring you down. I will be forever grateful for whoever told me and Lewis to go to the barn instead of you. You didn't need to be forced to have those memories come up with others around who have no idea what you've been through."

Silence is between them for another few moments. "You were protecting me." Once again Reid speaks so quietly Morgan would have missed it if he wasn't still looking at Reid, though the young man still had his eyes closed. He squeezes the hand he's still holding tightly once more and responds, "Always have and always will, Reid. That's what brothers are for. I..." He cuts himself off from saying what he had tried to say that night in front of his house when he brought Reid into that hug. For some reason the words wouldn't come out.

"I know. I know," he hears Reid say, his eyes finally opening again. They're full of tears that have yet to fall. Yet behind the tears Morgan sees something else, another hidden emotion. He feels it may be the same one Morgan couldn't get himself to voice.

To give Reid some time to get his emotions together, Morgan gets up and walks over to the coffee counter. He makes a pot and fills two cups, two black but one with enough sugar to make a normal person unable to sleep for days, and walks back to his seat. By then Reid's eyes were clear of tears and he had gone back to his book, though it didn't look like he was reading it. The pages weren't turning as quickly. He does look away from it, though, to take the cup from Morgan and thank him. The two friends sit in silence for a while, just sipping their drinks and watching the clouds go by outside. It's not until about five minutes later that Morgan treks on the path nobody wanted to go. "How's your mother doing?" Unasked, but hidden in the question, was also _'how are you doing?'_

He seemed to read between Morgan's question. "I'm doing ok, Morgan. Really. With the aid of Savannah's research I've been looking up ways to help her. There's medication she can be placed on; we just don't know if it'll work or if it'll interfere with her schizophrenia. Some doctors say the medications would override the other. Either way, right now all I see is a lose-lose situation." The tears build again but, this time, he doesn't care. He had been holding this in for far too long. "When I was with her one time she was looking at a photo of her and my uncle Daniel taken a long time ago. She looked at me and asked who he was." The tears fall now. He doesn't wipe them away; instead, he looks to Morgan with a lost look in his eyes. Eyes that are begging to be lead in the right direction. "I hate seeing her forget, not remembering. It's even worse than when she's in one of her schizophrenic episodes. I don't know what to do…" a sob cuts him off from speaking further.

Morgan squeezes his hand again, the only thing he could think to do at the moment. The seats they were in were only meant for one person, and he feared getting up to hug him would cause the rest of the team to come over and hover over Reid, which was the last thing either of them wanted. He was surprised no one had come over their way yet to grab something to drink or use the bathroom. Whether they were all asleep or giving them the time the two of them needed, Morgan was grateful for no disturbances.

Some time later the crying stopped but when Reid opened his eyes again they still looked lost. Morgan decided to share something he never had before with anyone outside of his blood family. He only hoped it would bring some peace or an idea to his brother. He squeezed his hand gently to gain his attention. When he did he spoke.

"When I was a little boy, probably around six or seven, my family had a party for my great uncle for his birthday. I went over to him and wished him a happy birthday. You know what he said?" When Reid shook his head, Morgan says, "He looked me up and down and asked 'who are you?' All the adults around me gasped and waited to see what I would say. I just laughed and said 'you're silly.' We didn't see each other often so I figured he was playing around, because later on he remembered me and played with me. Yet as years went by, each time we saw each other and I would go up to him and say hi he would ask me the same thing again. 'Who are you?' Eventually it got to me and I ran to my mom crying, asking why my uncle couldn't remember who I was. She just said it was a part of growing old. But she told me something that helped me get through it."

Seeing the question of what his mother said to him in Reid's eyes, he continued. "She told me to just talk to him. Keep talking to him about anything: what was on TV, what we did together when I was younger, how I was doing in school or sports or what I was doing back at home. She told me 'he remembers you deep in his mind, that it was just hidden. It just needs the right trigger to come back to him.' Every time I saw him, that's what I did, up until the day he died. He never did remember what I was talking about, but my mom said when I talked to him…she saw parts of his old-self shinning through.

"I know our circumstances are a little different, but the same thing applies Reid. How you can help your mom is by what you're doing already. You visit her when you can. Yes, it hurts when the one who loved you unconditionally as a child doesn't remember you, but you still know her and have all these memories with her. You share them with her, make it a story. This time, you can be the story teller." Tears were falling from the both of them now but Morgan prevailed on. "When you can't visit her you continue the letters. That will give her a sense of normalcy. You continue to show her you love her. What you can do the most, though, is continue to be the son she's so proud of."

The two of them let their emotions run through them. Morgan's tears stop quickly after he stops talking, but Reid's fall for quite a while. What Morgan had just told him runs through his mind and he sees how some of it could work for him. The letters he had stopped right before he left to go see his mother and he hadn't picked it back up yet. He always found that writing the letters at night at his desk back at home with a cup of coffee to be therapeutic and a good way to end his day. His mother may have days where she wouldn't know who Spence Reid was when the letters arrived at Bennington, but that wasn't out of the ordinary. Her schizophrenia episodes sometimes coincided with his visits; he was already used to her not 'being there', but there was still a difference between not 'being there' and knot knowing who you were. If the letters couldn't help her then they could help him.

But still… "How do I not worry about ending up like that though?" he asked. "How do I keep going day to day wondering if someday I will lose my memory?"

There was no way to answer but with honesty, even if it wasn't what he wanted to hear. "You have to Reid. Everybody walks around wondering if they're going to get some sickness that past relatives have gotten, but they continue their lives. They put it in the back of their mind, some start taking precautions if possible, but otherwise their lives continue just as they were before. You need to turn your brain off of the facts and just live. But remember this," he speaks, making eye contact with Reid. "You don't have to deal with this by yourself anymore. You're not the ten year old boy that doesn't have anyone anymore. You have all of us. You have your family behind you."

Emotions clogging his throat again, preventing anything from coming out, all Reid can do is mouth the words "Thank you" to the man he has viewed as his brother for a long time now as well. His words have brought some peace to him for the first time since he got his mother's diagnosis.

One last squeeze from Morgan's hand if felt before he releases his hold on Reid's. Reid goes back to his book while Morgan looks out the window and watches the clouds roll by.

After arriving back at the office, they finish the paperwork and they all head their own ways. Morgan offered Reid a ride home, but he declined, wanting some time to himself to fully digest what was said on the trip home. He reached his apartment after a quick train ride, heads to the kitchen to make himself something simple for dinner, and looks over at the desk he hadn't sat at in a while. After eating and changing into more comfortable clothes, Reid pulls back the seat and sits down, staring at the pen he left at the desk and the pad of blank paper. Collecting his thoughts, he eventually grabs the pen, uncaps it and puts paper and pen together.

' _Dear Mom'_.

-CM-

 **Thank you all for reading. I don't know about anyone else, but when that barn came into view I immediately thought of 'Revelations'. That's where the first half of Morgan and Reid's conversation came from. I had an uncle who had Alzheimer's, so that's where I got the inspiration from for the second part of their talk. Again, thanks for reading.**


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